Thanks Angelina!
Mom and I were excited about arriving in Las Vegas to see The Cher Show. As we approached the ticket counter at the showroom I recognized the kind lady who had helped months before in getting our show tickets to see another of mom’s favorite celebrities, Bette Midler.
“Hi Angelina! How are your kids? How are the newly-weds doing?”, I asked as I remembered our past conversation. As her associate, Christine, helped us select our seating location. I asked Christine where she was from. “Hawaii,” she responded. “What are you doing here?” I asked her. I thought she might be in high school or a college student. “Well, I have four kids and the cost of living in Hawaii was too difficult. “Four kids! Wow, I would never have believed you had that many children.”
From that point on, our conversation (besides reserving our seats) became kid orientated. I gave Christine my $1,000 piece of advice in raising kids, which I learned from Dr. Sid Simon, Professor Emeritus at the University of Massachusetts.
Angelina added, that as a single mom she had another suggestion that contributed to the success of raising her kids, who were now all grown up. And from our previous conversations it was clear that the relationship with her adult children was a connection to be admired. She continued, “One evening a month was designated as “The Round Table.”
“During that evening, I asked my children what they wanted me to improve on during the past month. Maybe it was too many hot dogs, or I had embarrassed them by what I wore to the parent conference at their school. Then I also told them what I would have liked from them.
At the conclusion of The Round Table, the kids would select the next months meeting date, the dinner menu, and we scheduled it on the family calendar. Nothing was allowed to interfere with our selected date for The Round Table meeting.
Some of my contemporaries, who were also parents, told me it was a waste of time to have a Round Table every month! Sadly, many of those parents do not have as successful a relationship with their kids as I do.”
Hummmmm, what a great idea, a structured Round Table scheduled once a month. What a great way for parents and kids to communicate their needs, wishes, feelings and concerns.
Best of all, what a great way for parents to model good communication skills by being vulnerable, making the effort, and keeping the commitment.
Imagine, being in a family as a grown up and knowing you could always schedule “The Round Table.”
We went to buy tickets to see the dazzling “Cher Show” and we were given a bonus in getting the dazzling practical advice of time-tested successful parenting skills.
Thanks Angelina!
Remembering Magic
Magic, My Beloved Peruvian Paso, May 28, 1986 – June 24, 2008
Throughout my life, I have said the final goodbye to family and friends. Sometimes it was expected and other times a shock. Death is never easy, at least it hasn’t been easy for me, to say that final good bye. June 24, marks a year anniversary of saying goodbye to Magic, my beloved Peruvian Paso horse.
The story behind Magic is an interesting one. At age 47, I became an equestrian. Before that I had never leased or owned a horse. I had only rented them at stables during vacation. The experience had been pleasurable, but I had no concept of how to groom, saddle, or take care of such a huge animal.
When I turned 51, Magic came into my life. My husband picked her out and she was his horse until I intervened. At first she intimidated me. I was afraid of her because she was so big. My trainer, Laurel Papadapalos, said, “Arlene, you were an award-winning educator. You know how to work with junior high kids successfully. So when she gets a little stubborn and wants her way, talk to her like you would talk to those junior high students. Let her know you are in charge! Ask her firmly.”
That was all it took. After that there was no turning back. Magic was devoted to me. She was mine!
Magic and I had many adventures together. We rode in cattle drives, parades, and trail rides. She would calmly walk into the trailer and back out, trusting me in my direction. Magic could open gates with me riding her so I didn’t have to get off and on. She also passed the test to be a member of the team for Search and Rescue, as well as the County Volunteer Park Patrol. She was gentle, sure-footed, and took care of those who were privileged to ride her.
Magic and I went through a lot together and I was never afraid of Magic. In fact, one time she saved my life, but that is another story. When she was 14, she had major surgery. During the healing process, I washed out her wound five times a day. It had to be uncomfortable because it was in a sensitive area, yet she didn’t finch, become irritated, nor try to escape the routine.
And Magic had the most beautiful big brown eyes. Joy, one of my trainers, often said, “Magic never looks at any others the way she looks at you.” Magic was pure love!
Regrets, yes, I have a few. I suppose the same ones I would have with a human loss. I wished I had ridden her more. I wished I had spent more time with her. I wished I had shown her more love. And I wished I had given her more horse cookies and carrots.
I miss you Magic! Thank you for thirteen wonderful years! And thank you God for helping me through this loss and the wonderful surprise you had for me the day after Magic’s passing, and that’s even another story.
Internet at last!
“For Further Information Go to www.” or “I Can’t Believe You’re Still on Dial-up”.
For those who are computer savvy, I admit I have been on dial-up for the past 16 years! My home/office had no other connection available. A neighbor subscribed to satellite and admitted it wasn’t much better than dial-up. Daily runs to the “It’s a Grind” coffee shop afforded me the luxury to read my email attachments and travel about the World Wide Web.
My family and friends knew better than to send me attachments, but still others loaded my email with items I never did open. But what was worse than all the attachments being sent were the times I needed to make contact with a company regarding my business, family, or personal matters. Always they referred me to their website. “Website?” I screamed, “I can’t get to your website. It is torture to watch your thousand page website load. Please, someone just talk with me.”
Sometimes I felt like a second-class citizen because the assumption was that I was on dial-up as a choice! Often I would here something like….“You’re on dial-up? Fred, Arlene is still on dial-up. Hey everybody, Dr. Kaiser is on dial-up. Can you believe it?”
People would then proceed to tell me the benefits of DSL, wifi, and how I could even put a telephone card into the slot of my computer and volahhhhh…instant connection.
Well, I had the telephone card man visit my site. As he waved his long wand through the air to measure, I suppose, reception waves received from the visible tower on the hillside, he sheepishly stated, “You can’t be lower than a seven, and lady, you are a twenty-seven.”
But a new day has arrived! After many years of research, disappointments, and waiting, my neighbor, Mike, who is much smarter about these things than me, contracted with a company for our small neighborhood. Cindy, my assistant and computer genius did the “inside the premises stuff” and since last week I am connected with wifi.
I am told I have —
Symmetric service.
Low-latency
Bursting. Besides the guaranteed minimum speeds, the system provides additional speed that "bursts" beyond the guaranteed speed on demand.
Sounds impressive to me, even though I have little idea of what all of this means. I just know that connection to the Internet is faster than ever. I pay more money for it than for a telephone line, but I can open my laptop any place inside and outside the house and read my email. The connection to the Internet seems to be at Mach 5 speed compared to dial-up. This is a huge change for me. How will I ever adjust to this with all the expectations? Perhaps I should keep my dial-up telephone line active just in case I need to slow down. Yah think?
Its all about Hay, Or is it?
I was out of town for a few days. In my absence, I had made preparation for moving sixty bales of alfalfa and grass hay from the covered stack outside into the barn. With the escalating prices of hay from $15-$22 per bale, I had been motivated during the summer months to buy 240 bales at a much more reasonable price. I was a novice at buying, delivering, stacking, and covering hay. But, to make up for my lack of experience, I had done extensive research and met with ranchers who generously shared their knowledge and expertise on storing hay.
Whenever I gazed at that huge covered stack of hay, I was delighted with my accomplishment and felt secure in having enough hay to feed my horses over the cold wet winter months and through the remainder of the year too.
“The hay is ruined. There was a tear in the tarp topside and water seeped down and all the bales appear to be moldy.”
Those were the words I heard on the other end of the telephone call from my mom. I was dumfounded and heartsick. How could this have happened? I could not use the moldy hay, as it could sicken my horses, and they could even die from eating it. The hay was now worthless to me.
And then the “if only’s” began — if only I would have overlapped the tarps, or gotten a stronger tarp, or built an overhang, or never gotten into horses. . . .
I was surprised at my deep sense of grief, not just about the loss of money, but the tremendous amount of time, energy and research I had spent. All wasted, I thought.
Lord why did you let this happen? There has to be something good that can come of this (Romans 8:28)? How do these dots connect in my life? After some tears, reflection, and insight I realized…
The hay experience had been a catalyst for an education in another arena of my life. My stack was tiny compared to the farmers and ranches who had lost thousands of bales of hay due to inclement weather. I had a new understanding and compassion of their tremendous loss.
Also, in my search for a hay grower, I had reconnected with my friend, a superintendent of schools, who introduced me to Tom, a hay grower in her area who graciously fit me in his list of long-term clients.
And Jerry, the hay deliveryman, knew everything about hay, all kinds of hay. He willingly met with me to see photos on my computer so I would know where and how to stack the hay. He gave me an education that couldn’t be beat by the Internet or books.
I was even out of the country the day the hay arrived, but my support team, Jose, Carol, Manuel, Cindy, and my mom, met Jerry in his huge semi and so the delivery, stacking and tarping went flawlessly.
Before the weather changed and the wind and rain swept our area, Jose, my faithful helper, had walked on the 18-foot stack checking the security of the covering. After one terrible windstorm, he retied the ropes holding the tarp even more securely. and yet, with all these precautions, a very small tear, no bigger than a dinner plate, in the middle of that 100-foot tarp allowed water to seep through and ruin almost all 240 bales of hay.
Application to life on the trail — sometimes we are moving along in life taking precautions, assuming relationships are intact, pursuing our goals. Then an unexpected event happens. It sometimes comes from the words of our doctor at a routine checkup, or a telephone call from the kid’s school, or our vet, or our boss, or our spouse. Sometimes the words are almost insurmountable; other times just a speedbump. Nevertheless, recovery is up to us.
In this New Year, I want to be more alert to my surroundings. I want to listen more and talk less; I want to be totally in the moment I am living. Of course, there will always be the unexpected, but this year, I want to practice perseverance in learning from my mistakes. I want to learn the lesson and then move forward with grace and integrity.
Until next time….. see you on the trail…
My First Post, and a disclaimer.
Coming from a background of education I am concerned about my writing for two reasons. First, the teacher within me scrutinizes everything I write. Somewhere in the process of grading many papers I lost my internal spell check. Not to worry, most word process programs have a spell check.
What concerns me the most is I have to think twice about simple things. “Do the quotes go inside or outside the period or question mark? When do I use the hyphen? Is this a run-on sentence? Do I need a comma here?” It would be wise for me to hire a professional editor for everything I write; however, the time and cost would make this prohibitive. But most important I would not capture the many ideas percolating through my mind and heart. The joy in sharing in a blog would loose its appeal with so many rewrites.
Second, I really do not know if I am a good writer. My husband is a voracious reader. While enjoying a book he will stop, ponder for a moment, and then announce, “He/she is such a good writer.” I honestly do not know what that means. What makes a good writer? I am exploring that with him.
If I wait for perfection I would never write a blog. I probably would never have written my first book, Empowerment in the Classroom, which to my chagrin, contained many mistakes even after numerous edits by different people. Am I embarrassed? You bet. Yet, teachers, parents, and just the average person have responded positively to the contents of the book. I know of one excellent teacher who was going down in defeat because of a difficult class. A beginning teacher was apprehensive about her classroom management skills. They attribute my book to getting them through a challenging time. Best of all, for the future generations, we did not loose two proficient teachers.
The Disclaimer for Writing My Blog
I will write my blog unedited and share what is on my mind and heart. If you are a person looking for mistakes in my writing and find any, please consider they were put there on purpose because some folks are always looking for mistakes and I don’t want to disappoint them.
Arlene